I know why men go to war.

In February, I got laid off from my job of 4 years which has resulted in time, lots of time for a lot of existential reflection.  In March, I sliced the top of my finger off trying to cut radishes with a mandolin (which turns out to be much better at cutting fingers than radishes). In April, my 15 year old daughter Emma suffered a severe concussion when she flipped a 4 wheeler at a friends house. So I had drama, for months. Serious drama. Serious worries about her, her health, and if she would ever get back to knowing the difference between words like oatmeal and granola.

But now, her head is healed and so is my finger, and it's late summer and I'm finding myself aimless. My brain is seeking excitement, drama, worry. I have lots of time to think thoughts like "what's is the point?" And then I think, we need a pool, a fireplace, a vacation - something, anything to break the tedium of this everyday. But I know my happiness does not lie in acquiring new things. It never has.

And what is it about an office that fills a void? What is the void I'm feeling? Power?  Ego? I'm missing something. The temptation to go back to the "dark side" is palpable. But the problem is that I was never happy there (either). This is what I wanted. Time to go to the grocery store. Time to make healthy food for my family. Time to get everyone to the dentist every 6 months. Time to take care of a puppy (did I mention the puppy?). Time to dry my hair. Time to do art. Time to do things during the week besides commuting for hours to an office every day, sitting in a cubicle and pretending to be busy. That was a waste of a life. But still . . .

I miss the people, their lives, their drama. And even my own drama. I miss victimhood, complaining about the people who didn't like the way I did things. The mistreatment by ogre bosses. The power plays. The pride at telling people where I worked. The ego gratification and submission. At the time it felt like torture. Now it all seems so interesting.

So, I know why men go to war.

I'm 49 years old. I've spent over 20 years in an office. It's time to do something else. But what? I'm not going to war, or to an office. I'm going to figure this out without going back to my old, secure, fearful, painful ways.

Inspired by the one snowfall we got this year.

Patrick's new thing . . .

Listen to them here: Stadium Lights

Wedding Photos

http://www.shutterfly.com/lightbox/view.sfly?fid=7799112cacb0ffd26276141d224b0f78

Wedding website

http://www.weddingwire.com/wedding/UserViewWebsiteIntro?wid=13157beb64253a30&pid=c13afd9b404f4d5c&themeCode=

Yoshi's Excellent Adventure

Our beloved Yoshi disappeared on Saturday, June 14 without a trace. Neighbors told us he was last seen fighting with his arch nemesis, Miss Kitty at about 2pm, just before an incredible storm blew in. All week we spent every available moment posting "lost" signs, searching, and fretting. Was he lost in a storm? Was he run over? Was he taken by a fox? And scariest of all: Did the evil Miss Kitty finally get the better of him?

Then, on day five, a possible sighting! Good citizen jogger #1 calls to let me know she thinks she has spotted him sleeping on a car one block over. But when we get there, there is no sign of him. The search continues.

Sunday, June 22, day eight: The phone rings at 10:30 a.m. Good citizen #2, Paul, tells me he knows my cat. Sees him all the time when walking with his Restonian fiance on the path near our house. Has often thought about taking him home, because he is the friendliest cat he has ever known. But he has resisted because clearly the cat is well cared for, has a good home, even though he has no collar (side note: Yoshi is smarter than his collar. We buy them in bulk).

Paul continues: When walking with his fiance last week he sees a "lost cat" sign with a description of Yoshi. But when he calls, he discovers that good citizen #3, who has posted the signs, has actually found a lost cat. Paul tells the good citizen #3 that he will take the cat if no one claims him.

Day eight, Paul's fiance sees our "lost cat" sign posted on another part of the trail. Paul puts it together and calls. He's not sure where good citizen #3 lives, or even where his signs are posted, not being familiar with Reston, but he has his number.

I call good citizen #3,Tom. Tom has seen our cat, although not this morning. He's been feeding him outside. And then he clears up the story.

Tom's neighbor, a vet, was walking with her dog and her young son on Saturday, June 14 and Yoshi followed her home. Just went for a walk with them, like he does with us every morning. The vet, good citizen #4 (or 1?) checks for a microchip, but finds none. She can't keep him due to her dog and cat hata' husband. Tom agrees to care for him.

We all rush over to Tom's and spend about an hour looking around the neighborhood, but no Yoshi. We walk the trail home. Still no sign of him.

Two hours later: John is still out roaming the streets, talking to a million neighbors. Emma and I are making new signs with updated info. Tom calls, he's got a lead on Yoshi. A woman, good citizen #5, who saw Tom's lost cat signs, says she's got Yoshi. I call and it sure sounds like Yoshi. He's just laying there, enjoying a good rub down. I rush halfway around the lake and hallelujah, there he is. Stretched out on a towel in the sun being loved by new friends. Skinny, tired, but all in all ok.

So he's home now. Freshly collared (TIGHT this time)

. Well fed, and rested.

And ready to fight the good fight against Miss Kitty once again.

Hurray for happy endings!










View Larger Map

Emma's Living Room Camp Out

The one hundred degree weather prevented us from camping at Lake Fairfax for Emma's birthday party - so we moved the camp out to our living room. The girls had a great time "hunting" animals in the house, and got creative with the frosting.

Guest List: Maryam, Paige, Victoria, Sam, and bff Jessica, Maree, John and John. Patrick made himself scarce.